Jun 11, 2008

oh thank god

It was about time.

Strawberry Shortcake was having an identity crisis. The “it” doll and cartoon star of the 1980s was just not connecting with modern girls. Too candy-obsessed. Too ditzy. Too fond of wearing bloomers. So her owner, American Greetings Properties, worked for a year on what it calls a “fruit-forward” makeover. Strawberry Shortcake, part of a line of scented dolls, now prefers fresh fruit to gumdrops, appears to wear just a dab of lipstick (but no rouge), and spends her time chatting on a cellphone instead of brushing her calico cat, Custard.

In other words… “The Princesses have been kicking us in the ass while those God awful Bratz girls have been kicking us upside the head, so people we have to do something… I know, let’s give her a cellphone! That’ll make it all better.”