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Never mind the fact that my one year old iPhone 15 won’t run a bunch of the new Apple Intelligence features when they’re eventually shipped in iOS 18, M.G. Siegler nails the word salad around Apple’s announcements this week, in Apple Needs an Editor 2:

…Presenters during the event this week were doing oral gymnastics so as not to verbally trip over talking about the iPhone 16 powered by the A18 and the iPhone 16 Pro Max powered by the A18 Pro running iOS 16. Which can now be paired with the AirPods 4, powered by the H2 chip. But they also still work with the AirPods Pro 2, which remain more premium than the AirPods 4, despite the naming scheme and also having the H2 chip. Both are also less premium than the AirPods Max – not the AirPods Max 2, which don’t yet exist – even though it only has the H1 chip. Meanwhile, the Apple Watch Ultra 2 also isn’t the Apple Watch Ultra 3 this year, but is now available in black. Sorry, ‘Satin Black’. Not to be confused with ‘Jet Black’ or ‘Space Black’ or ‘Space Gray’ (which is basically black) or ‘Midnight’. That premium smartwatch still features the S9 chip, while the Apple Watch Series 10 features the S10 chip. Both of these will soon run watchOS 11.

16 Pro, 16, Series 10, 4, Ultra 2, Max, Pro 2, A18, 16 Pro Max, A18 Pro, 16, H2, H1, S9, S10, 11. What the hell is goin on? This all reads like a riddle that Desmond on Lost must not forget.

And just because I can’t pass up an opportunity to embed a LOST clip, here’s the riddle in question.